Our First Victory

My husband and I are living in two different states to get out of debt. I wonder if it was the right thing to do? He got a promotion and will be in Washington most of this summer. Things are awful and we are clinging to the promises of God...we have seen God move before, but now he seems to be no-where. I don't want to be one of those Christians who call it quits when everything goes wrong, but man. Everything is so bad and the giants in the land look unconquerable..... Regular "Christanese" won't do here....Jesus love's you etc....this is the fight of my life and Daniel and I both know it. We have a great ministry idea that is so off the charts it has to be from God, we have been working on it, but it has no money and we are slowly trying to solve that problem by eliminating our debts...so we can fund it. If we can't believe God for a little, we cannot believe him for this ministry. We are so very tired, so very sad, so very done. We have done all we know to do and yet I see those who hate God around me prospering and those who aren't prospering are at least living it up!
With my last breath I repent of my sin's and my unbelief and I praise the one who made me and loved me first and I exhale with tears that bring no solutions to my life. My hurt is so great, it has turned to poison within me. And I am trying with every ounce of energy I have to guard my heart from this infestation, guarding it with the promises given to us freely in God's word, all the while trying to encourage my husband from afar and raise my five kids on my own. But I am not really alone, he is within me and I am able. I will sing a new song and goodness and mercy will chase me down and God's blessing's will overtake me and I will believe until my circumstances around me catch up with my belief!